…your maths homework.
Or Sports Day. Or your inability to beat your little sister at marbles. Or your inability to beat your big sister at Monopoly.
It’s Sports Day for The Porglets (if the weather holds; the ONE cloudy/rainy day after a week of much gloriousness!). They’re both keen to win, as is every other child in their class. Winning is important when you’re 5 and 7.
I remember those days well! Thanks to my BPD brain, doing well is important to me; more important than I’d like. I’ve spent a lot of time and effort over the past three years, working to lessen the importance. I’m trying to place emphasis on doing my best, however rubbish that may be. It doesn’t come easy, but sheer repetition of the mantra “I’ve done my best and that’s all I can do” helps.
I’ve tried to instil this into The Porglets. I don’t want them to feel they have to be the best at everything. I don’t want them to think last place isn’t good enough. When Porglet Maximus gets 8 or 9 out of 10 on her spelling test, I ask if she tried her hardest. If she says “yes”, then I tell her that’s all I’ll ever expect from her. If she says “no”, she’s learnt a lesson. Annoyingly, her spelling has improved so much over the year that she rarely gets anything other than 10/10!
I want my kids to have fun. Of course I want them to do well, but only to the limit of their abilities. I don’t want them crying over their maths homework because it’s too hard and they’ll never get the hang of it and they just don’t understaaaaaaaand! So, they’re never going to be Einstein; so what? Some people can do maths; some people can’t. I’ll do everything I can to help them with it, especially if they need a good grade to get into their chosen career.
But, at all times, I’ll make sure they understand that I love them and support them just as they are. I’ll be proud of them whether they get an A or an F. And today I’ll be cheering them on, whether they come first in the sack race or last in the egg-and-spoon.