Have you kept…

…your New Year’s Resolutions?

A bit random, I know, given that it’s the middle of August! This kind of discussion normally takes place at the start and end of the year.

I think it’s important to have goals and remember them for more than a few weeks, especially when you feel like you have nothing in your life. That’s when it’s hardest, I know, but goals are important if you want to live a life you’re even vaguely happy with.

They don’t have to be massive goals; simply saying you’re going to get out of bed every day (unless you’re physically incapable for whatever reason). Goals saying you’re going to eat 3 meals a day. Goals like you’re going to speak to your family once a week.

I started this year with 3 goals (here comes the list – gotta have a list!)

  • Learn to ride a bicycle
  • Get divorced
  • Be happy
  • I can tick the first one off, even though I’m still bruised from my unplanned meeting with the verge last week *grin*. But just because I’ve mastered the basic method for remaining (mostly) upright, doesn’t mean I stop there. I’ll keep going with it, even though it’s not really my idea of fun, because learning perseverence is good when you have BPD. Not giving up is important. Besides, I need to master bicycle basics in order to progress to motorbike basics *mahoosive grin*.

    I’m not yet divorced but I am meeting my new solicitor today to get things moving, now that Porglet-care has been mostly worked out. I may not fully achieve divorced status by the end of the year, but it won’t be through lack of effort on my part!

    And the final goal: be happy. I had my moments last month where I really wasn’t happy at all, but that wasn’t me. That was the depression. I wanted to be happy but just couldn’t persuade my brain to agree with me, highlighting to my inner-writer how important it is to keep on describing mental ill-health to people who think we’re “just not trying”. As soon as I’ve tightened up my first murder mystery event, I’m heading back to book number 3, in an attempt to get across that utter hoplesness that is clinical depression.

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