…of your life!
Unless you believe in reincarnation, you’ve got one shot at life. Even if you DO believe in reincarnation, it makes sense to make the most of it too.
If I’ve learnt anything from my years of therapy, it’s that it’s up to me to regulate my life. I’m the only one who can decide if today is going to be a good or bad day. I’m the one who has to decide if I’m going to feel offended by something someone says. I’m the one who has to decide if I want to feel miserable all day.
I fully appreciate that it’s almost impossible to feel anything but miserable when in the midst of depression. However, there are still things you can do to help yourself get through each day, if you choose to do them.
It’s all down to you.
Do the things that make YOU happy. If you like watching vampire movies, do it. If you like going for a 5 mile walk in the rain, do it. If you need 3 days of curling up under the duvet, do it. If you need to tell someone that you can’t do something you promised, do it.
It might sound selfish and may very well set off alarm bells for the people pleasers amongst us. But, like I’ve said before, it doesn’t matter what other people think. It’s THEIR choice to take offence/feel miserable etc.
The parents amongst you might wonder where my children fit into this me-oriented existence. They’re right up there with me. I will do whatever it takes to bring them up properly and happily.
BUT I can still put myself first when it’s in our best interests as a family. I’ve seen countless families where the parent appears to resent their children. They insist on doing everything ‘right’ for their kids but hate doing it. They think they’re bringing their children up well, but how can kids be happy when they know their parent isn’t?
I do what I can for The Porglets, and that means teaching them this same lesson. THEY are the one who has to decide if they’re going to remain upset or angry. They’re still young and it’s a difficult concept to grasp, but I’ve noticed an improvement in their emotion regulation over the past year.
It’s not teaching them how to be selfish because I also teach them to be considerate of others (and they really are; it’s wonderful to see). It’s teaching them that how you FEEL is almost entirely up to you.
It’s YOUR life; make the most of it!