Friday Fiction…

The end of NaNoWriMo is looming and I have about 10,000 words to go before I reach the final target. Today, Ragnar is going to make a little mayhem in Orkney after a couple of years in Shetland (where he accidentally invented Up Helly Aa). It’s all fun and games 🙂

Today’s little snippet is from a few chapters back, In Which The Horde Are Visited by an Auditor. I absolutely loved writing this chapter!

“‘What is the correct sequence of events for pillaging a small coastal village, according to Regulation five hundred and six?’ Mr Beancounterson fired at him. ‘No conferring,’ he added as Dave hastened to whisper in Ragnar’s ear. ‘Quickly now. I need your answer.’

Dave closed his eyes and prayed. The Gods were too busy having a laugh at his expense to help him out, however.

‘Burn, drink, pillage?’ Ragnar offered. ‘No, wait!’ he cried.
‘I’m sorry, but I must accept your first answer,’ Mr Beancounterson sighed, marking another cross on the scroll. ‘The answer you were looking for was, in fact, “Break (into), Pillage, Burn”. You may step back now.’

Ragnar tried not to catch Dave’s eye as he fumbled with his helmet for an emergency drink. Mr Beancounterson glanced up from his scrollwork. ‘That is not official Pillager uniform,’ he remarked. ‘Regulation three hundred and ninety-six clearly states that during Pillaging Season, a Horde must wear only official uniform in order to ease identification by the pillaged. I had considered overlooking this lack of uniform as it is late on in the season and I understand the Scandiwegian Surplus Clothing Company have a backlog of orders. However, unauthorised helmet modifications cannot be overlooked.’”

Happy weekending!


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