Finding…

…normal.

(I bet all the parents of young kids wanted to say Nemo!)

Boxing Day. The day when you shower with the new smellies from Auntie Nell. The day where you strap on your new watch or squirt on your new perfume. You shuck off your new pyjamas and put on the new jumper Granny knitted.

Then what? It’s the same old, same old again! The traditional Boxing Day walk in the park/trip to relatives/extreme sales shopping. Perhaps a few more presents from a few more relatives over the next few days, a week off work…but “the day” is over for another year. So now what?

It’s time to find normal again.

For those of us with mental health issues, Christmas is often less than joyful. It’s another day to get through (with the added difficulty of putting on a smile for all those relatives). Sometimes we actually do manage to enjoy ourselves (I loved every second with The Porglets!), despite our best efforts.

But, despite the season, our normality is always just there. The underlying depression. The stupid genetics that programme your brain to head downhill once the presents are unwrapped, the children are gone and the phonecall from your Lovely Boyfriend (crackly and brief) is over.

Yesterday I was happy (Porglets do that!) and I was miserable (Porglets leaving do that!). That’s my normal, no matter what day of the year.

And I’m fed up with it. I started this year ridiculously happy and determined to remain that way. Then my head got involved and the second half of the year has been one big step backwards. ENOUGH ALREADY!

I’m going to find normal again; a normal I can live with. That doesn’t mean I’m looking for a cure – there is no cure for BPD. It means I’m fighting back and finding new ways to work with what I’ve got to work with.

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