The world has it in for me…

…or does it?

Before I get started, I want to make it clear that this post isn’t aimed at anyone in particular. It’s a common experience and I’m not lecturing, merely commenting and suggesting from my own experiences.

OK…

How many of you have thought the world was conspiring against you? *puts own hand up* Everything’s going better than expected and then, WHAM! Someone says something or something happens to make you feel a million times worse. Again.

The world hates you, right?

Wrong. It’s all a matter of perspective and learning to phrase things in a less hurtful manner.

The world can’t hate you; it has no emotions.
“Nobody likes me”; blatantly untrue. Family, friends, the bloke/woman who smiles at you on the bus?
“I don’t have any friends”; maybe you don’t think of your office companion as a friend but I bet they do.
“Everybody hates me”; even the man in the sandwich shop? Why should he?

The most hurtful words are the ones we tell ourselves because they’re so deeply personal. It’s not easy, but we all have to learn to look at what we say, pick truer words and cut out the exaggerations and downright lies.

Sometimes people don’t like us. Sometimes people do want to upset us. It doesn’t mean the world hates you, just that someone else in it is feeling sh*t about themselves and is taking it out on you. Or, possibly, they just don’t like you; it happens.

As I keep saying to The Porglets, it’s entirely up to you if you choose to get upset about something. For those of us with BPD, chronic depression etc, we have less control but we still have some. It’s not easy, believe me I know! Rational thought goes out the window so quickly once our emotions get fired up…but with practise, you can get to be more mindful of your emotions and face them down before they overwhelm you. You’ll still feel upset but it won’t consume you.

“The world has it in for me” is an extreme, negative viewpoint of a series of events in your life. Your life. How you live is your choice and within your control, however much you don’t believe that (and I believed that lie for years).

Turn it around and start liking yourself because you’re your own worst enemy. Find the positives and start running your own life instead of letting other people dictate how you’re going to feel. They all hate you, remember?!

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5 thoughts on “The world has it in for me…

  1. Lol I’m not so much a world hates me type I’m more a how do I keep getting myself into these situations type. Starting DBT for my borderline soon. We’ll see what happens.

      • My course wasn’t an official dbt one and apparently they can be really full on. We worked from a book: The Dialectic Behavior Therapy Workbook. It takes time but it can help. Generally, the first time through each module isn’t enough as the concepts can feel totally alien. The second time through, you start to see how they can actually work in your life. The best moment for me was when I learnt about BPD and how my brain worked. I learnt to accept it and became mindful of what I was feeling. Now when I get upset, I spot it, tell myself I’m likely to be overreacting due to my broken brain, explain this to the other people in the room and back out of the situation until I feel more able to cope. DBT played a part in that learning. Good luck with it; it’ll help if you let it.

  2. I often feel people are shooting me dirty looks. The last time, though, was when I didn’t see a pedestrian in a crosswalk. (But I did stop in time.) The look was totally deserved. But in my head I went on to have a whole dialogue where the women told me off and yelled at me, and then I felt even worse. I felt really bad about almost hitting her, but I felt worse about how much she hated me, even though she never said a word to me. It was all in my head.

    Then a few days later I was near that same stop sign and the same thing happened to the car in front of me: he stopped and started to go and suddenly there was a man in the crosswalk. Apparently there is a corner of that crossroad that is so drenched in sunlight at that time of day, compared to all the shadows around it, that it’s impossible to see if anyone is walking into the street. So, it wasn’t me. I gave myself a good talking to in my head which made me feel bad about myself for no good reason. It is definitely the inner voice who is the worst critic.

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