…riding a bike?
How many people with BPD gave up on learning to ride a bike as a child because of the overwhelming emotions?
I learnt to “go a bike” last year (felt a bit hypocritical telling Minimus not to be scared!). Lovely Boyfriend took me out again today for the first attempt in 6 months, and only my 5th ever shot. I was a MESS!
It felt too fast. I was out of control. I couldn’t even get started without steering myself into the verge. I cried buckets and just wanted to go home and never ever ride again (BPD and perseverance just don’t go together!). Lovely Boyfriend kept me going and after getting my emotions under a little control (and working out where to look),I made it around the waste ground for a few circuits and even did a few small and very wobbly slaloms.
I didn’t want to ride home, however. People would see me. There were cars to crash into. I had to make a right turn. I cried some more, rode another circuit and then just went for it.
I made it home (all of a minute on the road!) and felt…
…terrified, out of control and like I never want to do it again! However, I will persevere because I want to ride a motorbike!
BPD flares up at what other people perceive as nothing and they expect you to just get back on and keep going….and , you know what? It IS possible!