As easy as…

…riding a bike?

How many people with BPD gave up on learning to ride a bike as a child because of the overwhelming emotions?

I learnt to “go a bike” last year (felt a bit hypocritical telling Minimus not to be scared!). Lovely Boyfriend took me out again today for the first attempt in 6 months, and only my 5th ever shot. I was a MESS!

It felt too fast. I was out of control. I couldn’t even get started without steering myself into the verge. I cried buckets and just wanted to go home and never ever ride again (BPD and perseverance just don’t go together!). Lovely Boyfriend kept me going and after getting my emotions under a little control (and working out where to look),I made it around the waste ground for a few circuits and even did a few small and very wobbly slaloms.

I didn’t want to ride home, however. People would see me. There were cars to crash into. I had to make a right turn. I cried some more, rode another circuit and then just went for it.

I made it home (all of a minute on the road!) and felt…

…terrified, out of control and like I never want to do it again! However, I will persevere because I want to ride a motorbike!

BPD flares up at what other people perceive as nothing and they expect you to just get back on and keep going….and , you know what? It IS possible!

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2 thoughts on “As easy as…

  1. I have only just got into cycling at 25 and it’s scares the shit out of me, but I’m also learning to enjoy it, even if it is just for the burning thighs.

    • I didn’t think I would be the only Borderline to feel like this! I’m coming up on 35 and would happily quit but for the determination to attempt my motorbike CBT. I’ll warn the instructor!! I never wanted to drive either and it took a LOT of lessons…pre-diagnosis too so I couldn’t explain my overwhelming emotional reaction! I hope the scariness diminishes and the enjoyment creeps up for you!

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